Imagine that you know the truth: vampires are real!
Just like in the movies, they’re evil, bloodsucking creatures of the night. Given the opportunity, they will destroy you, your family, your neighborhood.
Now imagine that you know for a fact that the neighbor who just moved into the big house on the hill is a real vampire. You’ve called the police and all the authorities, but they think you’re a nut. And to top it off, Roddy McDowall isn’t available to offer his cinematic vampire-hunter advice. Darren McGavin is busy tracking down a golum, so you’re on your own.
What do you do?
Do you allow this creature to exist in your neighborhood? Do you drive it out? Do you go over in friendship with a six-pack of hard lemonade and try to reason with the creature?
You’ve seen the movies! You know the answer! You must sneak in and drive a stake through its hideous heart!
You did the right thing, you know you did!
Now, let’s imagine a slight change of scenario. We’ll change only one word. “Vampire” now becomes “Conservative.”
You’re a good progressive liberal with enough knowledge to know that this conservative who just moved in is evil, a danger to all.
This is real life, so unlike in the vampire movies, you can’t just barge in with a wooden spike and dispatch him with the same relish Hillary displayed when wiping her server clean with a lint free cloth. Instead, you must let him know he’s not wanted. Maybe you let the air out of his tires, or splash some paint over his “I Heart Trump” bumper sticker. Or even worse, you plaster his car with “I Feel the Bern” stickers! You turn your head and ignore him when you pass him on the street. You don’t invite him to social functions, and you would never attend a party where you knew he would be in attendance. You tell all your family and neighbors about him, so they too can join you in making him feel unwelcome. If you hear that he’s going to make a speech at the local school or college, you lead a protest because his views are dangerous.
Believe it or not, we changed only one word and turned a fiction horror story into today’s reality.
If you’re liberal, you probably believe that conservatives are evil and you respond accordingly.
If you’re conservative, you know that what I’m saying is true. Many of us won’t put a Trump sticker on our car because we know it will be vandalized and make us a target for ridicule from the neighbors. We invite “friends” over, but don’t discuss politics because they will be out the door before finishing their first dry martinis.
My wife and I attended one of the ubiquitous Trump rallies a few months back. Every time television cameras came near, she turned her back to them because she didn’t want her co-workers to see her, as it would have been disastrous for her career and social life. Her hair dresser who was also there did the same thing, saying she would lose most of her clients if they knew she attended a Trump rally. I ran into an old colleague. Before I even said “hi,” he started explaining: “You know, I just came out to see the crowd. I’m not into politics, you know. It was just something to do on a slow Saturday blah blah blah…”
It’s funny, you show up as a conservative in broad daylight, in the purifying rays of the sun, and liberals don’t understand why you don’t just shrivel up and die, frying like a strip of crispy bacon in a cast iron skillet.
It’s tough to be a vampire, er, I mean conservative.
— Mr. Evil
After reading the story I know why you never see mirrors at a Trump rally!
It has nothing to do with vampires. The Democrats like looking at themselves in mirrors so much, they stole all of them!!!
Unfortunately, these are the times we’re living in. It’s sad to see how divided we are. I loved the message of unity President Trump gave us in his wonderful State of the Union. But to some people, it was divisive. How is that possible?!