Imagine that Joe Biden is a football coach, rather than a politician.
And he’s the chief coach for one of the great teams.
It’s just a few days before the big game. Coach Joe walks behind his team, taking time to bend over and smell the hair of the lineup as he goes. Eventually, after several deep inhales, he works his way to the front.
“Hey, guys,” he says, standing directly before them, “It’s time to get ready for the big game.”
“Go! Go! Go!,” the team enthusiastically chants in response, throwing their fists into the air.
“And by the way,” advises Coach Joe, “be sure to ask Smith about that conditioner he’s using. I could sniff it all day.”
The team pauses their chant for a moment, looking at each other in momentary confusion. But in a few seconds, they continue, even more excitedly. “Go! Go! Fight! Fight! Win! Win,” they scream.
Coach Joe holds his hands up in response, open palms facing his team. “Hey, team, don’t get too excited. You know, the Chinese team we’re about to play are a bunch of amateurs. They’re no competition for us. So, I’m cancelling practice until after the game.”
The team becomes silent and seems a bit downcast.
“Hey, guys,” he says. “The Chinese team is just like the Russian team. We don’t have anything to worry about. Take some time and relax.”
One of the smaller guys in the middle of the lineup raises his hand.
“Yes,” acknowledges the coach.
Timidly, the little guy says, “But, maybe we should run some plays, just to be sure we’re prepared.”
“Thanks for offering your opinion,” the Coach says with a big toothy grin. “You know, I love to hear other viewpoints. Really, really, I do. But I’m not here to waste our time with something as crazy as worrying about the Chinese.”
The little guy holds his eyes down in shame for making such a stupid statement. The quarterback, standing next to the little guy, puts an arm around his teammate’s shoulder in a supportive way.
Then Coach Joe says. “You know, I’m a little sleepy. I think I’m going home to take a nap. Maybe you guys should, too.”
Go, Coach Joe! Go and take a nap.
— Mr. Evil
How true.