My Psychic Wife

My wife has a bad habit of rolling her eyes at me when I say something stupid, which, unfortunately, is often.

“Do you want to watch the Oscars with me?” I asked politely.

“No, thanks,” she answered.  “I’m not interested in hearing movie stars make fun of conservatives and the President.”

“Maybe they won’t do it,” I suggested.  “There’s no host, only presenters, so it might not be such a big problem.”

A quick flash of the whites of her eyes.  I think this is when she goes into psychic mode!  “I predict that the first slam will come within five minutes.”

My wife and I both love movies, and I knew that she really wanted to watch, but her psychic vibes overwhelmed her.  Something from the great dimension beyond was telling her that liberal celebrities would use their public status to put down or insult conservative views.

As I watched, two Queen hits were performed as the movie greats swayed and rocked to the music.  Then, since there wasn’t a host, the presenters for the first award moved to the front of the stage.  I won’t honor the presenters by mentioning their names, because in about one minute there was a comment saying that Mexico won’t be paying for the wall.

I should have been shocked.  But I wasn’t because my wife had predicted it.

Later, Spike Lee made a veiled anti-Trump message by saying:  “The 2020 presidential election is around the corner. Let us all mobilize.  Let’s all be on the right side of history. Make the moral choice between love versus hate.”

I know that he didn’t explicitly say that if you support the President, you’re immoral and a hater — but that’s what he meant!

The next time that my wife goes into psychic mode, I’ll pay more attention.  After all, her predictions rival those of “the omnipotent master of the East and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent…”

And it’s not just the Oscars.  She was right about the Emmy Awards, with Michael Che making the observation:  “My mother is not watching. She said she doesn’t watch white award shows because you guys don’t thank Jesus enough. That’s true. The only white people that thank Jesus are Republicans and ex-crackheads.”

She’s also been right about the Grammys and other awards show.  Her psychic abilities astound me!

However, I suspect that many conservatives may also have psychic abilities.  After all, they’re tuning to other channels or turning their TVs off when the awards shows are on.  The ratings keep dropping as celebrities keep insulting Christians, Republicans, Conservatives, Pro-Life supporters, the President, and our great country.

And maybe I’m a bit psychic, too!  I predict that the rating of those awards shows will keep dropping.  That’s my prediction!

Disclaimer: My wife says that she doesn’t roll her eyes.  I promised her that I would be sure to mention that in this post.  Of course she rolls her eyes, but her objection has been noted.

 

— Mr. Evil